新手入门 BDSM 实用指南：安全知情同意与基础玩法
Better late than never. That’s the first advice when it comes to BDSM. Curious about it? Before the vocabulary pile-on: wanting BDSM does not make you weird or strange or depraved. It means part of your brain went, “wait, that does something for me!” and now you are poking at it. And you should dig deeper and deeper until you find your limits. But first, we are going to introduce you to beginner’s BDSM activities, a BDSM test and an app which is perfect for everyone, whether you’re just starting out or you are already experienced. And don’t forget. It all starts with mutual consent.
什么是 BDSM？
The acronym expands to bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It can be intense, obviously. It can also be as relaxed as a scarf over your eyes on a Tuesday night. Abuse is when someone takes power from you. BDSM is when you hand over a very specific kind of power, with mutual informed consent, clear limits, and a way to stop. Everyone has to understand the deal and be able to end it. No consent, no scene.
初学者 BDSM 活动
Yes, you will probably want to sprint to the fun bit. Try not to. Your first few scenes will just be practice: can we ask clearly, can we stop without sulking, can we notice when a body changes its mind? Start with BDSM play that teaches those skills before the paddle comes out.
Sensate focus is another good early exercise. With body mapping, go inch by inch and say the awkward stuff out loud: yes, there, not there, lighter, weird, numb, too much. Start with a blindfold if you want an easy win; it changes a lot without adding much risk. Then, add light spanking or hand impact. Stick to fleshy areas (the bum, basically).
然后，了解初学者的束缚（BeMoreKinky 会有所帮助）。简单的手铐或床下约束装置可以提供约束力，而无需使用复杂的绳索。继续立即释放并经常检查是否有麻木或刺痛感。如果您想尝试绳索，请坚持使用地面初学者系带。 首先学习绳索护理和基本结。之后，尝试角色扮演或小型服务任务。放一个计时器，然后汇报。我会特别留意情感上的地雷，或者静静地变成你们中的一个人从未真正同意的事情的场景。
What is BDSM?
多年来，我尝试过几个 BDSM 和扭结应用程序，我诚实的看法是：对于大多数人来说，应用程序确实有帮助，但前提是你了解它能做什么和不能做什么。
应用程序真正有用的地方在于构建那些感觉无法开始的对话，并通过笔记和日记跟踪会议之间哪些内容有效以及哪些内容无效。他们无法替你看你伴侣的脸。他们无法决定某人是否安全。他们无法修复绳带或处理房间里的恐慌。
我最喜欢 BDSM 应用程序，适合已经相互信任并且只需要结构的情侣。对于新的或临时的伴侣，我不会依赖应用程序。参加研讨会，与现场人员见面，亲自了解安全人员的样子。
Beginners BDSM activities
我使用过几个扭结应用程序，并且BeMoreKinky 是对 BDSM 感兴趣的情侣的最佳性爱应用。这实际上就像你口袋里有一个 BDSM 教练（我之前雇佣过专业的 dommes 来提供指导，所以我知道）。它基本上涵盖了 BDSM 和 Kink 所需的一切：
- 数千个活动（是/否/也许），加上游戏安排，以便您可以使用它们。
- 1000s of activities to yes/no/maybe, plus play scheduling, so you can use them.
- 100s of quizzes (and some of the quizzes are huge, up to 100 questions for deep profiles)
- 6 full sensate focus learning paths (each lasting multiple hours)
- Tasks and habits for protocols
- Dirty talk guides
- Shibari training
但除了内容数量惊人之外，最让我着迷的是它是如何教你的。每次我打开它，都会有一些我以前没有考虑过的东西，一些我认为我已经知道的活动的新角度，而且我已经这样做了很多年。对于刚刚起步的人来说，将所有这些指导集中在一个地方可以让我避免很多摸索和一些错误。
这对情侣的角度是我喜欢它的原因。 私人合作伙伴连接，没有公开个人资料，没有供稿，没有约会功能。没有观众。只是私下匹配，规划场景，遵守协议，在陌生人看不到的地方谈论性。
在隐私方面，安全页面表示敏感内容在设备上进行了加密，聊天内容进行了端到端加密，并且私钥保留在您的手机上。他们还表示，他们不会收集位置、法定姓名、电话号码、联系方式或付款详细信息。您可以导出数据、取消与合作伙伴的链接或擦除帐户。
Can you use an app for BDSM?
我已经尝试了其他主要选项，所以我会给你简短的版本。
如果您想要的是 D/s 习惯和任务跟踪，那么服从是可靠的。习惯、奖励、惩罚、积分、伙伴同步、照片和视频证明。它做得很好。但数据不是端到端加密的，它是一个协议管理工具而不是学习基础知识的地方。它们是最大的，但它们的功能比 BeMoreKinky 少得多，而且更昂贵，而且免费的功能也更少。
这对情侣的角度是我喜欢它的原因。 私人合作伙伴连接，没有公开个人资料，没有供稿，没有约会功能。没有观众。只是私下匹配，规划场景，遵守协议，在陌生人看不到的地方谈论性。
这对情侣的角度是我喜欢它的原因。 私人合作伙伴连接，没有公开个人资料，没有供稿，没有约会功能。没有观众。只是私下匹配，规划场景，遵守协议，在陌生人看不到的地方谈论性。
The couple’s angle is the reason I like it. Private partner connection, no public profiles, no feeds, no dating features. No audience. Just matching privately, planning scenes, keeping protocols, and talking about sex where strangers cannot watch.
BeMoreKinky: The best BDSM app for couples
Privacy-wise, the safety page says the sensitive stuff is encrypted on the device, chats are end-to-end encrypted, and private keys stay on your phone. They also say they do not collect location, legal names, phone numbers, contacts, or payment details. You can export your data, unlink your partner, or wipe the account.
I have tried the other main options, so I will give you the short version.
Obedience is solid if what you want is D/s habit and task tracking. Habits, rewards, punishments, points, partner syncing, photo and video proof. It does that well. But the data is not end-to-end encrypted, and it is a protocol management tool rather than a place to learn the basics. They’re the biggest, but they have far fewer features than BeMoreKinky, are more expensive, and there’s less on the free tier.
How does it compare to the alternatives?
Embrace works as a journaling companion for couples already exploring. Private and shared journals, daily prompts, reminders, partner notifications, chat, passcode lock. It integrates with Obedience, which is handy. For me, the catch is the price: six dollars a month for journaling is hard to justify.
